Wednesday, April 21, 2010

procrastination

... is the scourge of me

I should write an excerpt instead of writing a new blog entry.
Moreover, I should have done so within the last week.
And to go one better, I have only gotten as far as 7 lines, yet.
Deadline is 2'30 p.m.

I'm never able to stick to the plans I make beforehand. Probably never will be.
I had hoped this would change when I've grown up.
But, apparently, either I will be a procrastinator for my whole life, or I still
haven't grown up. =D

I prefer the second idea, somehow. It gives rise to hope for a change in the future.

"from all of us here, we wish you a happy painting, and God bless you, my friend"

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

merry christmas

... and a happy new year!

The end of the year. It's here. As suddenly as every year.
[rhyme unintentional!]
And, again, I am immersed in late-time present buying, frantic baking of Christmas biscuits, and how-the-heck-are-we-supposed-to-drive-home-without-spending-more-on-the-ticket-than-we-did-on-Christmas-presents-? deliberations.
Oh, what a peaceful time of the year.

As you might have noticed, I did not manage to write a new blog entry since God knows when. As such, you might be pleased to hear that my new years resolution this year includes writing more regularly. And first of all you will get some comment on what happened during the last quarter of the year - I already collected the topics =) .
Hope, you're looking forward to it as much as I am.

For now, I wish you all a very merry Christmas!
Have a happy holiday, and find some time to spend alone and with your loved ones.

"from all of us here, we wish you a happy painting, and God bless you, my friend"

Saturday, October 31, 2009

to whom it may concern

... thank you.

Nothing more. Nothing less.

"may our heart's garden of awakening bloom with hundreds of flowers"

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

The best laid schemes

... o' mice an' men
Gang aft a-gley,
An' lea'e us nought but grief an' pain
For promis'd joy.

How very true... -.-

Thursday, September 17, 2009

we like to move it move it

... well, not every minute of it

We are moving to BCity at the end of the month and thus I am sitting between piles of cardboard boxes and heaps of odds and sods. You wouldn't believe how much stuff you accumulate in 6 years. I mean, I had lots of things before we came to the city of R. but the number definitely has not decreased, since. Though, this time, I am willing and able to winnow all that stuff and throw away some of it - something I did not have the heart to do, last time. Fortunately, I started early enough with packing so that I hope to actually be ready and done when the pantechnicon van comes to a halt outside.
Well, we'll see how I manage...

For now, I've got things to pack and cardboard boxes to pile.
So far,
"from all of us here, we wish you a happy painting, and God bless you, my friend"

Thursday, September 03, 2009

as i have not been able

... to formulate anything since the end of may

I decided to rather look on the Internet for things I'd like to show you. Either because they are hilarious or true or both. Or maybe someday or another something useful will crop up here, too.
This is just so that all of you whom I can't see on a regular basis still know I'm out there and thinking of you.

For now, something that falls into the category of "both":
Mitch Benn and The Distractions - Everything sounds like Coldplay now



I hope you enjoy!

"from all of us here, we wish you a happy painting, and God bless you, my friend"

Friday, July 24, 2009

where the heck has june gone???

... no, seriously, I mean: where has it gone???

I don't remember half of that month. Every day went past, and I was glad it was over, in the evenings. Not because anything bad happened but just because it had been exhausting.
And now it's halfway through the second half of July already and I don't know much about this month, either!

Well, let's see; I might be able to draw up something like a time scale - for July, June is completely lost to the depths of my memory.

The beginning of July was marked by an increased number of choir rehearsals as we were approaching our semestral concert. We had normal (i.e. weekly) rehearsals, men's rehearsals and women's rehearsals, a Saturday rehearsal, and a dry run. PLUS the actual concert, of course ;) Which was great, of course ;)
No, really, we had a very good time on stage and the audience reacted really well to our "show". It was pure fun.

Now, the week approaching the concert brought a very pleasant suprise for me: H. !
He showed up for a week of vacation with his family, and we spent two very interesting evenings which I greatly enjoyed. It was sad to part again.

Another parting happened just a week ago: C. left for Spain!
She'll have (and, hopefully, enjoy) 3 months of Spanish summer and I am slightly jealous of her ;)
I'm more concerned about her late return, though, as we will have already left for BCity and I'm afraid I won't see her again until the beginning of December (if I manage to attend choir weekend) :(
At least, we had a wonderful last "girl's night" and she will receive a postcard every week, written from the k2.

This week it got very obvious at work that high season had started as we had to deal with an increased number of dumb-ass customers. My next post will be concerned with some of those...

For now,
"from all of us here, we wish you a happy painting, and God bless you, my friend"

Thursday, June 11, 2009

it's never too late to learn

... what you should not have for breakfast

Today I learned that having coffee, potato chips and jelly babies for breakfast will upset your stomach.
Strange that I had to become 25 in order to find that out.
And stranger even, that common sense did not prevail over my stupidity.

I'll have cucumber for dinner.

"from all of us here, we wish you a happy painting, and God bless you, my friend"

Sunday, May 31, 2009

missing out

... on the real things

Flittering and fluttering from one thing to the next - all day.
Noticing the great weather only in between.
Thinking "When I'm done with this task x, I'll spend some time in the sunshine and wind."
When you're eventually done with this task x, you realize there was something you had planned to do.
But you can't remember what it was.
So you go on to doing the next thing.
And by and large you miss out on the great weather.

And thus, by and large miss out on the real things, in general.


"from all of us here, we wish you a happy painting, and God bless you, my friend"

Friday, May 29, 2009

friday wisdom blogging

... "The truth is

that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers."

- M. Scott Peck -

"may our heart's garden of awakening bloom with hundreds of flowers"

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

sorry to myself

... "For hearing all my doubts so selectively and

For continuing my numbing love endlessly
For helping you and myself: not even considering
For beating myself up and over-functioning

To whom do I owe the biggest apology?
No one's been crueler than I've been to me

For letting you decide if I indeed was desirable
For my self-love being so embarassingly conditinal
For denying myself to somehow make us compatible
For trying to fit a rectangle into a hole

To whom do I owe the biggest apology?
No one's been crueler than I've been to me
I'm sorry to myself
My apologies begin here before everybody else
I'm sorry to myself
For treating me worse than I would anybody else

For blaming myself for your unhappiness
For my impatience when I was perfect where I was
Ignoring all the signs that I was not ready
For expecting myself to be where you wanted me to be

To whom do I owe the first apology?
No one's been crueler than I've been to me And
I'm sorry to myself
My apologies begin here before everybody else
I'm sorry to myself
For treating me worse than I would anybody else

Well, I wonder which crime is the biggest?
Forgetting you or forgetting myself...
Had I heeded the wisdom of the latter
I would've naturally loved the former

For ignoring you: my highest voices
For smiling when my strife was all too obvious
For being so disassociated from my body
For not letting go when it would have been the kindest thing

To whom do I owe the biggest apology?
No one's been crueler than I've been to me
I'm sorry to myself
My apologies begin here before everybody else
I'm sorry to myself
For treating me worse than I would anybody else"


- alanis morissette -

"from all of us here, we wish you a happy painting, and God bless you, my friend"

Friday, May 22, 2009

friday wisdom blogging

... "We must learn to reawaken

and keep ourselves awake, not by mechanical aid, but by an infinite expectation of the dawn."

- Henry David Thoreau -

"may our heart's garden of awakening bloom with hundreds of flowers"

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

some days, some people

... are nonviable in the outside world

Me, for example.
Today was such a day, and today I was such a person.

Everything was alright as long as I stayed indoors. I had coffee with Robert, waved a fond goodbye to him, checked my e-mails, ate something, searched for 2 very important letters that had gone astray (but didn't find them, of course), and decided to go to my bank.
Going to my bank was necessary because of my lack of viability in the outside world.
I've forgotten my PIN...
(You know how easily I forget things - my PIN, obviously, is one of those)
"Never mind!", I thought to myself. Just go to your bank and tell the clerk that you, as a person aged mid-twenty, have forgotten your PIN, just like any Eighty year old with Alzheimer's would do...
Nevertheless, I went there, described my case to them, and was told to hand in my cash card. Which, of course, I did. Unfortunately, I was told that, as I had two days ago failed 3 times to key in my correct PIN (which is extremely easy when you've forgotten the right numbers!), I would be sent everything new by mail. Next week.
My cash card was chopped in front of my very eyes and I, hardly believing the impassive manner of the clerk, just so managed to withdraw some money, before being send home with a nod and a smile.
Should I mention that, somewhere between the cashier's desk and home, I lost the money I had withdrawn?
(Though, I don't remember the clerk actually giving the money to me. Which, as you and I know, does not necessarily mean, he didn't give it to me...)

Bloody hell! How stupid can 1 person be???

Now I have little money to speak of, no cash card, and another PLUS is: I can't transfer any money because for my bank I am some form of a persona non grata as long as I don't have a cash card.

I should have just stayed inside! I should have called my bank because of the PIN. I should have paid attention to what I did with the money.

Maybe that's something I should realize in general: Pay More Attention.
Or just stay indoors.

So far:
"from all of us here, we wish you a happy painting, and God bless you, my friend"

Monday, May 18, 2009

insomniac's lyrics

... sleep is soo overrated

"almost home we get lost on our new street, and your grieving girls all died in their sleep" "bury me in honour, when i'm dead and hit the ground a love back home unfolds" "sometimes is never quite enough" "i'll be sticking right there with it, i'll be by your side, sailing like a silver bullet, hit 'em 'tween the eyes, through the smoke and rising water cross the great divide, baby till it feels alright" "maybe we don't want to live in a world where innocence is so short" "do what you want, i don't care, tonight i'm in the hands of fate" "it's been a long way coming and long will it last when it's last day leaving" "i'll take everything in this life, i'll join everyone when i die" "nothing and everything, all at once" "the day is long and the night, the night is yours alone" "oh these little earthquakes, doesn't take much to rip us into pieces" "i'm sorry that you've turned to driftwood but you've been drifting for a long long time"

"from all of us here, we wish you a good night of sleep, and God bless you, my friend"

Friday, May 15, 2009

friday wisdom blogging

... "We don't see things as they are,

we see them as we are."

- Anais Nin -

"may our heart's garden of awakening bloom with hundreds of flowers"

what i learned

... in the last few days

You can have a great time with people you know quite well, and each time discover something new that you like about them.
You can have a great time with people you just met half an hour ago, and be able to let them go at the end of the evening, knowing that there will be somebody else to have a great time with on another day.
You can have a great time with people you haven't seen in a long time, and discover a so far unknown side of them.

You can have a great time with everything when you give yourself up to the moment.

"from all of us here, we wish you a happy painting, and God bless you, my friend"

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

i will celebrate and i will guide them

... rehearsal Saturday and my second time

This weekend was rehearsal Saturday. A good part of the choir met at a local community centre in order to spend the next 7 to 8 hours learning new songs. Rehearsal Saturday is always fun and especially the food and the lunch break (as well as the coffee break) is what people look forward to. Our conductor in particular advises everybody 2 weeks in advance to bring along some delicious dishes to rehearsal Saturday but then only eats about 1 small plate of one of the dishes... Strange.
Usually, rehearsal Saurday also means a small number of games being played, so as to get acquainted - the new singers to the old ones, and vice versa. As at least one of those games tends to be played without shoes on, I even reminded Robert to wear clean and undamaged socks! But no Lena appeared, S. came about 2 hours late, and no games where played. Bummer! =(
Nevertheless, it was a good day, especially, as we rehearsed one song that was completely new to the choir and I am sure will sound wonderful in the end! I will celebrate!

Monday meant my second time as a guide - and two tours instead of just one. The first one was not as much fun as I had hoped it would be. For some reason, the tourists seemed to not really respond to what I told them. And it is really hard to find out wether you are doing a good job if nobody reacts to you! Serendipitously (what a word! =D ), there was a second, and different, tour on that day - and this time I was not a guide but a host, so that some time in the future I would be able to and allowed to guide that tour as well. It was a huge (and slightly unpleasant) surprise to me, when the actual guide asked me to take over some parts of guiding because she wasn't feeling very well. I did my best, and as the guests knew I was still learning, they received my efforts well.
This second tour was 2 hours longer than the tours I had done so far and I must admit, after 7 hours of guiding, of organizing and keeping track of things and persons, of being present and available, I was knackered! I went to bed early (by my standards) and though I had planned to listen to some music so as to get properly sleepy, I fell asleep as soon as I lay in bed.

Wednesday (tomorrow!) will be my next tour... Keep your fingers crossed ( - might be easier than "daumen druecken", concerning eating and writing ;) - ) and wish me luck.

for now
"from all of us here, we wish you a happy painting, and God bless you, my friend"

Friday, May 08, 2009

friday wisdom blogging

... "People spend a lifetime

searching for happiness; looking for peace. They chase idle dreams, addictions, religions, even other people, hoping to fill the emptiness that plagues them. The irony is, the only place they ever needed to search was: within."

- Ramona L. anderson -

"may our heart's garden of awakening bloom with hundreds of flowers"

Thursday, May 07, 2009

my first time

... as a guide

On Tuesday, I assumed my new job as a guide for cruise ship tourists.
I had been nervous for the last fortnight, had slept badly, falling asleep with thoughts of how to say things, dreaming of tours I took with faceless tourists, and always afraid I would do something wrong.
By Monday evening I was a nervous wreck.
Edgy, moody and bad-tempered - and poor Robert had to put up with it.
Tuesday morning however, I had to face it. And it went really well =)
As clouds and occasional rain are a bit daunting to cruise ship tourists, I only had to manage a group of 20 plus middle-aged people who were well aware of the weather conditions, and well prepared for it.
I followed the route, told them what I had planned to say, occasionally saying more in order to temporize (we had taken-off a good 10 minutes early and I had to "deliver" them at a certain place at a fixed time, so I had to keep them entertained), and generally had a great time. "My group" was good-humoured, interested and very nice. They enjoyed the tour, and so did I.
And I was really taken aback when I bid them farewell at the ship and was not only tipped but also hugged by some of the guests!
It was a great day. Hopefully, my next tour will be just as enjoyable.
Wish me luck next Monday!


(P.S.: And for all of you who wondered, what my final decision was, last Sunday (sleep & cuddle with Robert, or stay awake and do some work) - I got into bed and cuddled. Truth be told, it was not so tough a choice ;)

"from all of us here, we wish you a happy painting, and God bless you, my friend"

Monday, May 04, 2009

music stick

... found at Tiefsee Tagebuch, thrown to Pixelamazone's Bimbellotterie

Carefull, it's a loooong one!

Name a song... (Nenne einen Song...)
that makes you sad (...der Dich traurig macht)
Sigur Rós - Untitled 1
that makes you cry (...bei dem Du weinen musst)
Depeche Mode - Never Let Me Down Again
that makes you happy (...der Dich glücklich macht)
Hans Zimmer & Lisa Gerrard - Now We Are Free
that immediately puts you in high spirits
(...bei dem Du sofort gute Laune kriegst)
The Proclaimers - 500 Miles
that makes you want to move along to it
(...bei dem Du nicht still sitzen kannst)
Koop - Come to Me
that you think is too short (...der Deiner Meinung nach zu kurz ist)
Iron and Wine - Naked As We Came
that means something to you (...der Dir etwas bedeutet)
The Fray - How To Save A Life
that you could listen to non-stop (...den Du ununterbrochen hören könntest)
Billy Boyd - Edge of Night
that you love (...den Du liebst)
So many. Too many to find and list them all.
that you own but do not like (...den Du besitzt, aber nicht magst)
Alanis Morissette - An Emotion Away
that has lyrics which apply to you (...dessen Text auf Dich zutrifft)
Alanis Morissette - Would Not Come
that belongs to a soundtrack (...von einem Soundtrack)
Counting Crows - Colourblind
(Cruel Intentions OST)
that you have already listened to Live (...den Du schon live gehört hast)
Alanis Morissette - 21 Things I Want In A Lover
that is not in English or German (...der nicht auf englisch oder deutsch ist)
Carla Bruni - Quelqu'un M'a Dit
that is sung by a woman (...der von einer Frau gesungen wird)
Tori Amos - Silent All These Years
that was made by a solo artist (...eines Solokünstlers)
Badly Drawn Boy - A Minor Incident
that is from your favourite band (...Deiner Lieblingsband)
Coldplay - Everything's Not Lost
that is from your earliest childhood days (...aus Deiner frühesten Kindheit)
"Wer will fleißige Handwerker sehen?"
that you identify with (...mit dem Du Dich identifizierst)
Among many, many others:
Alanis Morissette - Incomplete
that you would sing to your heart-throb
(...den Du Deinem Schwarm vorsingen würdest)
Thomas D. - Liebesbrief
that is good for kissing and cuddling (...zum Küssen und Kuscheln)
Jorja Fox - Under 41
that reminds you of your last heartsickness
(...der Dich an Deinen letzten Liebeskummer erinnert)
There is no song that I connect to heartsickness. None in particular.
that is about sex (...der von Sex handelt)
Keith Caputo - Upsy Daisy
that reminds you of a vacation (...der Dich an einen Urlaub erinnert)
Herbert Grönemeyer - Halt Mich
that you think is embarassing you like it
(...der Dir peinlich ist, dass du ihn gut findest)
Celine Dion - My Heart Will Go On
that you like to listen to when getting up
(...den Du gern beim Aufstehen hörst)
Kristofer Astrom - How Can You Live With Yourself
that you like to listen to when falling asleep
(...den Du gern zum Einschlafen hörst)
David Gray - From Here You Can Almost See The Sea
that you like to listen to whilst driving a car
(...den Du gern beim Autofahren hörst)
Air - All I Need
that has already helped you in a situation
(...der Dir schonmal in einer Situation geholfen hat)
Alanis Morissette - That I Would Be Good
(way more than 1 siuation)
that annoys you (...der Dich nervt)
Actually, any song could annoy me after a while. There is none in particular at the moment.
that makes you furious (...der Dich rasend macht)
I have now spent one week trying to think of a song that makes me furious but could not think of one. I am sure there are some! I just can't think of one of them...
that you learned to love through a friend
(...den Du von einem/r Freund/in lieben gelernt hast)
Rosenstolz - Laut
(Antje)
that you are listening to right now (...den Du gerade hörst)
Coldplay - Fix You
that is by a band that no longer exists (...einer Band, die es nicht mehr gibt)
4 Non Blonds - What's Up

Phew! What a job!
Hope, you all enjoy this list =)

for now
"from all of us here, we wish you a happy painting, and God bless you, my friend"

Sunday, May 03, 2009

"you said we would stay awake!"

... "and you took me seriously???"

A conversation between Robert and myself, about 20 minutes ago.
Yep, it's 5 a.m. and, yep, we're still up and awake.
Dawn has come and I probably could watch the sun rise in about half an hour.
Robert however, has just decided to go to bed, and now I have to decide if I should stay awake on my own - not that I haven't done that before, the question is, whether I want to today - or go to bed, too - risking that I might not be able to fall asleep or might wake up at half past 11 (by alarm clock, of course) and feel totally knocked out.
If I stay awake I could do some research for my first guide tour on Tuesday and tinker with the flyer and poster for the concert. If I go to bed I could cuddle with Robert.
Tough choice.

I shall let you know how I decided.

for now
"from all of us here, we wish you a happy painting, and God bless you, my friend"

Friday, May 01, 2009

friday wisdom blogging

... "We must learn to reawaken

and keep ourselves awake, not by mechanical aid, but by an infinite expectation of the dawn."

- Henry David Thoreau -

"may our heart's garden of awakening bloom with hundreds of flowers"

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

leer waer die welt

... und ohne sinn

Three little pictures of Ralf Koenig's "Archetyp" - a cartoon about the Flood and Noah's Arch. It is very funny, in general, but these three pictures are the last of the whole cartoon, and the most important ones to me.
Literary property of Ralf Koenig and FAZ, all rights reserved.



"from all of us here, we wish you a happy painting, and God bless, you my friend"

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

sleeping stick

... found at Tiefsee Tagebuch, thrown over to KATHA

Favourite sleeping position? (Lieblings-Schlafposition?)
To fall asleep: On my stomach. When actually asleep: On my back.
Do you have any going-to-sleep ritual? (Hast Du ein Einschlafritual?)
Open the French window to let in some fresh air, switch of the lights, get changed, stand outside for some seconds, close the French window and cuddle into bed.
Do you have a cuddly toy, comfort pillow or the like? (Hast du ein Kuscheltier, Knuddelkissen o.ä.?)
Yes. It's a whole gang of little rascals, actually.
What do you do if you can't fall asleep? (Was machst Du, wenn Du nicht einschlafen kannst?)
Stay awake. (What a question =D )
What size is your bed? (Wie groß ist Dein Bett?)
4'8 x 6'8
How many pillows do you have? (Wie viele Kissen hast Du?)
One. As I do not have more than one head, I think one is an appropriate number of pillows.
Left hand side or right hand side? (Linke oder rechte Seite?)
Depends on which way you look at it... If possible, the side that faces the door or the side that is "open" (as opposed to the one confined by 2 walls).
How are you roused? (Wie lässt Du Dich wecken?)
Usually: By my alarm-clock. Preferably: By kisses and cuddling.
Are you getting up immediatly or do you stay in bed longer? (Stehst Du direkt auf oder bleibst Du liegen?)
I stay as long in bed as possible. Only when I am really looking forward to something or something important is about to happen that day do I get up immediatly.
First thought at awakening? (Dein erster Gedanke am Morgen?)
What's the time?????
What do you do in order to wake up? (Was machst Du um wach zu werden?)
Drink a cup of coffee.

"from all of us here, we wish you a happy painting, and God bless you, my friend"

Friday, April 24, 2009

friday wisdom blogging

... "One's first step in wisdom is

to question everything - and one's last is to come to terms with everything."

- Georg C. Lichtenberg -


Exclusively for Friday wisdom bloggings, a new and more apt quote:
"may our heart's garden of awakening bloom with hundreds of flowers"

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

memory and remembrance

... in unforeseen places

Today, I got out an album I hadn't listened to in the approximately last 4 years.
And it is amazing how my memory works! I forget things that happened yesterday but I remember song lyrics and melodies that are years old. I could sing along to each song and only forgot those parts of the lyrics, I hadn't been able to remember the first time...
But the more interesting aspect of getting out things from some time ago, is the inner reaction.
With every book that was read before and every album that was listened to, come the feelings and ideas from last time. And those get mixed up with today's feelings and ideas. And if you get out that book or album or whatever some years later, again, you will receive the feelings and ideas of both times before.
It is like an unintentional time capsule! One that you store up every once in a while.
I love it.

"from all of us here, we wish you a happy painting, and God bless you, my friend"

Saturday, April 18, 2009

memory gaps

... what the heck did i do yesterday???

I am 25 years old (if I remember correctly - I do have some problems to define my age, sometimes); I haven't drunk any alcohol within the last fortnight (as far as I remember); I didn't get a heavy cosh (not that I would remember if I had but there aren't any bruises on my head)...
So why is my memory as bad as it is???
As I sat here, thinking about what I could write as my new post, I wrung out my brain in order to remember what I did do yesterday that might be worth mentioning. I haven't found out what I did. Not even a hint! It's like a BIG blank in there.
I do have some form of idea about my Thursday activities. Most of Wednesday is a blur but I remember that I went to choir and had a great time there, and afterwards in k2.
Could anybody please enlighten me about yesterday?!
Speaking of enlightenment - I had a chat conversation with Doreen! Hah! I've got 1 thing :) And one with H! 2 things! :D
Well, maybe all those other important events will come up sooner or later, too. Or maybe there just weren't any? How would I know.

Maybe I should write a diary, so as to remember my activities later on.
Probably would forget to wright, though...

"from all of us here, we wish you a happy painting, and God bless you, my friend"

Friday, April 17, 2009

friday wisdom blogging

... "full awakening comes

when you sincerely look at yourself, deeper than you've imagined, and question everything."

- adyashanti -

This is a new "category", inspired by older posts of trekkingwithtigers - which was "friday cat blogging". As I don't have too many cat photos, you will have to put up with weekly bouts of lores - not my own, of course. ^.^
But, hopefully, you will find inspiration or at least new food for thought. Let me know what you think about those wisdoms!

For now
"from all of us here, we wish you a happy painting, and God bless you, my friend"

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

incomplete

..."One day, I'll find relief,

I'll be arrived,
And I'll be a friend to my friends who know how to be friends.

One day I'll be at peace,
I'll be enlightened,
And I'll be married with children and maybe adopt.

One day I will be healed,
I will gather my wounds, forge the end of tragic comedy.

I have been running so sweaty my whole life, urgent for a finish line,
I have been misssing the rapture this whole time, of being forever incomplete.

One day my mind will retreat,
And I'll know God and I will be constantly one with her, night, dusk and day.

One day I'll be secure,
Like the women I see on their 30th anniversaries.

I have been running so sweaty my whole life, urgent for a finish line,
I have been misssing the rapture this whole time, of being forever incomplete.

Ever unfolding,
Ever expanding,
Ever adventurous,
And torturous,
... but never done.

One day I will speak freely,
I'll be less afraid and measured outside my poems and lyrics and art.

One day I will be faith filled,
I'll be trusting and spacious, authentic and grounded and home.

I have been running so sweaty my whole life, urgent for a finish line,
I have been misssing the rapture this whole time, of being forever incomplete."


- alanis morissette -

"from all of us here, we wish you a happy painting, and God bless you, my friend"

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

call me two face!


... 'cause that is what i look like

Sun bathing on Easter Sunday didn't turn out very well - too much sun, and that from just one side. Makes me look a bit like Tommy Lee Jones as Two Face in Batman Forever.
Without the maniacal vicious grin, of course!

I don't think that I am too heavily burned so I hope my skin will not start to peel off!
Still, if it turns out worse than what I hope for at the moment, I'll just try to follow The Kinks:


"We don't feel as ugly as we really are
When we turn off the living room light."

;)

Besides the sunburn, Easter was fine. Good Friday meant a family meeting at my mother's where the cutest nephew of the world had to put up with the whole family at once for the first time in his life - poor bloke! I'm glad the day didn't turn into a flurry of flashbulbs and nobody used babytalk.
Easter Saturday we spent at Paula - sleeping long, shopping foods, playing Wizard and eating self-made hamburgers in the evening (soy-based vegetarian hamburger-meat replacement for me) whilst having a gaming night with friends of Paula. It was fun and a very relaxing day.
Easter Sunday meant getting up (too) early, heading to the train station without having had a coffee (a failure that was mended whilst waiting in the train station) and meeting up with the rest of Robert's family. We headed off to spend the day in a large park area in the north east of the city where we sat in the sun, ate lots and lots of eggs, fruits and sweets and generally had a good time. Unfortunately, I wasn't feeling very well and consequently spent most of the time in a deck chair (hence the sunburn on one side of my face - I didn't turn the chair accordingly to where the sun stood).
We got back to the city of R. yesterday evening and had a very relaxed day today, again. TV, books, computer games, fresh summerlike air on the balcony, and a Pizza for dinner, each. And lots of chocolate, of course =D
*sigh* Why can't every day be like this?

"from all of us here, we wish you a happy painting, and God bless you, my friend"

Monday, April 06, 2009

i am officially

... a student of the university of R.!

Again.
On Saturday I got a letter by the university saying "Dear Ms. Lupin, Herewith you get permission to start your studies of choice at the University of R. [...]."
Not that I actually plan to do any studying - but I already transfered my tuition fee and am awaiting my certificate of enrollment and my ticket for the term any day now. As soon as I get those, the job-centre is getting a copy and I will not be unemployed anymore. Hurray!
By now, I am not really unemployed anymore, anyhow - on Friday I had a "casting" for a summer job (showing around American tourists from cruise ships) and within the next fortnight will attend training sessions in order to learn the facts and techniques. Unfortunately, this means I won't be able to attend the first 2 rehearsals of the term. =(
I am really sad about this as I had been looking forward to rehearsals starting again since the end of January!
Now, what wouldn't we do for money...

I think I will just sing in my head during the training session, and attend the choir crowd in the k2, afterwards.

for now
"from all of us here, we wish you a happy painting, and God bless you, my friend"

Wednesday, April 01, 2009

happy happy happy

...april first!

Wether you are a fan of playing pranks on friends and family on April First or not, there have been quite some good April Fool's Jokes from officials and companies in the last decades.
My very favourite one is a prank by the BBC in 1957 - a documentation about the annual Spaghetti harvest in Switzerland... =D
There were actually people who believed it. Well, I think the BBC could have shown anything in those days ;)

I hope you had a fun day!
"from all of us here, we wish you a happy painting (/watching), and God bless you, my friend"